Flirting in a Second Language
The Syntax and Simplicity of Foreign Romance
I spent the last few days being terrified to go and flirt with the cute German boys on my ship.
Even though it's THE RAREST THING EVER to see a young man around here.
Let alone a tall, young man. Let alone a good-looking, tall, young man. Let alone a whole set.
There should have been some "seize-the-day" adrenaline to activate my courage.
My coworkers-- Bless them-- sprang into "game time" mode. (They are more than invested in my welfare and long-term contentment in their country!) Crew members and Managers from all different departments made a point to find me throughout the week, conjuring up whispered English words for my benefit.
"Emily! Handsome young men!" "Emily! How about this one? Oh! Or maybe you like That one?!" "Emily...... Did you talk with them?"
For the record, I have NO fear of flirting.
I am a paid, professional flirt.
I have a fear of German grammar.
But tonight, while I sat in my place at the bar, sipping my red wine, someone surprised me. It was a young, tall, good-looking Chinese man.
As the performers lit up the center stage, he took the chair next to me, and smiled adorably. I smiled back, and we raised and clinked our glasses without words. Then he took out his phone, typed out a simple question, and showed me the translation. I laughed. I took out my own phone, summoning my faithful friend, Google, to provide me a reply.
We sat there, silently trading notes for thirty minutes in the dark. Sometimes we laughed wildly. Sometimes we nodded confirmations, or expressed surprise and curiosity. Other times, unexpectedly, we had to hold the sorrow of injustice, and not-yet-fulfilled dreams in the pauses and in our eyes. More than once, we both held out our phone screens to the other, only to discover that we had written different expressions of the same core message.
Watching this playful scene, my dear, darling coworkers were pleased. Pleased, and not at all subtle. This man now had front row seats to all their mischievous looks, wide eyes, and raised eyebrows, being shot gleefully in my direction.
One of my favorite dining room servers was even so audacious as to plant herself right between my conversation partner and me, hold out a cocktail menu as a temporary barrier between us, and shriek-whisper to me, in our not-so-secret language, "Oh my God!"
My tall friend's next Chinese-to-English note read: "They are bad".
Didn't I know it! But bad in the best way that a woman far from home could ever dream of.
As the music cued for the closing performance, I savored 2 delicious truths.
1--This 'Almost-Lover', and the others too, would leave in the morning. But despite my shipmates' earnest and loyal concern over my state of "aloneness" -- I am single, far from home, and the only one of "my kind" -- I knew I wouldn't feel lonely when these genial creatures were gone. How could I, set in such a great, loving, hospitality family as this? '
Psalm 68:6 God sets the solitary in families.
And 2-- When you really care to flirt with a person, Nothing so inconsequential as Grammar -- or even Words themselves! -- has the power to stand in your way. We are designed for connection.
1 Corinthians 1:27 But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise.
We are meant to be free enough to be vulnerable, honest, and even silly with each other. And Fear is meant to be tossed overboard.
As many times as it takes until it sinks.
Love, Em
Now, Are you wondering whether I went and flirted with the Germans a little later that night? You know I did. Players gonna play, and Students of German gonna practice their German.
